“I am writing to you on a postcard of where I no longer am – tonight I am in Los Angeles; by this time tomorrow I will be back in San Francisco. What a beautiful and strange ride it has been. I have had so much time to think and become afraid and become unafraid again – spent so many hours by the Indian Ocean amazed to be here – fallen in a love a bit (and still a bit too much), adopted a little brother, spent all my money, turned into a mermaid and back, made and lost a good friend – made my choices – and in the end flown away under the stars”
Today I found out on accident where this beach is. It’s the closest one to LAX, of course, which as it turns out, is literally right next-door to the airport.
I went to the Academy of Sciences with only a toy camera – not really suited to indoors. The photos came out dark and confusing.
I was pleased with the textures and shapes and shadows, though. These actually remind me of how my remembered dreams look.
Once I lived on an island
where I knew I was loved / Once I was an island
and I trusted beyond reason / Almost floating
though I had no reason not to. / my feet alleged to be
resting in volcanoes, but still I / Once, on an island where I lived
was senseless of my roots / I sat on the beach
I was alone under the sky for / and hurt was all the weather
as far as I could see / hurt was in the wind
I was full of light, / and a current
and the farthest thing from God / moving at an angle to
suspended, / the line of shore
inviolable, / and I was the sea bottom
myself a place where / being moved but
silence answered / little changed.
itself for days.
Near my train station, there is an artisanal Japanese sweet shop that is, weirdly enough, something of a sanctuary to me. I don’t treat myself to a $5 handmade mochi very often, but even if I know I will buy nothing, I still go in often after a stressful day to enjoy the warmth, the quiet, the meticulous displays, and the traditional instrumental music playing softly in the background.
For part of the year they carry boxes of these perfect little rabbit-shaped pastries called usagi manju [look at them!] that my girlfriend and I swear we will have someday…someday when we have $32 to drop.